Summertime and the wind is blowin' outside...

First of all, some interesting news. When people ask me how the Big Brother thing is going, I always say "not bad" or "OK" or "good," because truthfully, this is what they want to hear. Or rather, it is what I want them to hear. I didn't want to go into detail because it was something I was really struggling with. The truth is, it wasn't going well at all. The kid was fine, its just we never connected, I never felt like we clicked. We got along, just never connected.
The good news is that I am breaking off the relationship and starting anew at some point in time. I'm going to be very cautious this time. Before, I should have said 'no.' This time I will be wary in saying 'yes.'

In other news...

This is going to be a confession post, I feel, because the other thing I wanted to talk about was camp. It's been almost two years since I first set out for Waycross, a young, naive, soon-to-be college freshmen. I've grown up so much since then. I notice it all the time. But, and I say this without any sort of exaggeration or dishonesty, that summer of 2006 changed my life. It caused me to realize a lot of things. The most potent of which being that I miss everyone and everything from that summer. Sure there were downs (I missed vacation with my family, first time in fourteen years, I didn't make as much money as I could, etc) but there were so many ups to outweigh them.
The truth is, guys, not a day goes by that I don't think about the place. I'm heartsick for it. I am in love with it. But I can't go back. Partially for monetary reasons but also because going back would not be the same. The first time is the best, I think.
But I've discovered something else. I'm sure by now you're wondering, "You haven't talked about writing yet. Does this relate, somehow?" And it does. The only way I'm going to get this off my chest and out of my mind, the only way to cure my aching heart, is to write about it. Which means my camp novel is going to go through some changes. Nothing horribly drastic. I can keep about 90% of what I've written and probably only need to delete about 2%, which leaves the other 8% to revisions. The biggest change is that my main character, Andy, is not going to be an eighteen-year-old going to camp for the first time. He is going to be a 20-year-old returning to camp after two years. He hopes for the best and discovers the worst. He'll find love, loss, hope, and more. And he'll find something else. But I won't say it here.
So that is where I am in my life. I'm trying to overcome my hatred for things. Yet another confession. I hate, a lot. It's not like I mean to, it's just things bug me. So I hate. I can love, too, don't get me wrong. I'm a pretty caring guy. It's just a lot of things piss me off. I won't ever blog about them, I got that out of the way in my younger days (this is my fourth blog, by the way, the other three are gone because they were way too whiny--and political).
There. That's all for now. Take a breath because this isn't over yet. I'm just beginning. The change to my blog isn't just to lighten things up, it's to show that the future is bright. I have so much ahead of me. It's time to jump in.