All Mixed Up

So it's not secret that I'm in love with music. It is my religion. I've felt closer to God or Nirvana or what have you more when listening to music (and particularly when playing my guitar) than at any other time or location in my life. What I'm gonna do is take a break from talking about writing or whatever it is I usually talk about and post several lyrics. These lyrics are some of the most meaningful to me. I will also list the artist and track title in case you are interested in looking them up (youtube is most helpful when it comes to this).

"When we were kids
We hated things our sisters did
Backyard summer pools
And Christmases were beautiful
And the sentiment
Of colored mirrored ornaments
And the open drapes
Look out on frozen farmhouse landscapes"
-"Have You Forgotten" by Red House Painters

"She tricks me into thinking
That I can't believe my eyes
That I wait for her forever
But she never does arrive"
-"All Mixed Up" (Cover) by Red House Painters

"Sorry that
I could never love you back
I could never care enough
In these last days"
-"Carry Me Ohio" by Sun Kil Moon

"And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones"
-"Engine Driver" by The Decemberists

"So now you're scared of love
I'm here to tell you love's not some blood on the receiver
Love is speaking in code
It's an inside joke
Love is coming home"
-"If Work Permits" by The Format


Okay, it's also no secret that I'm a huge Third Eye Blind fan. I've saved these lyrics for last because I wanted you guys to get a taste of something else that I enjoy. And for that very reason I'm only going to post a select few lyrics from songs that aren't on any official studio album.

"She said
Why can't you be
Like a candle I can snuff
You're still a diamond in the rough
And I swear to god I've had enough
How can I call your bluff?"
-"Why Can't You Be" by Third Eye Blind

"And I will write a new song and I will sing it tonight
No one sings along but Mom it will be all right
And the family will hold even though we've lost the means
And the family will hold in this graceless, sad routine"
-"Second Born" by Third Eye Blind

"Persephone
Can you help me?

I pushed away a summer breeze
I want the promise of a real spring
Free and born again
Help me

Old emotions are coming back to me"
-"Persephone" by Third Eye Blind

When I was little I thought a few was 3 so there ya go. Look them up, try them out. I hope you enjoy them.

51 Posts

So apparently my last post was my 50th post and this will be my 51st. Sweet, I guess.

I've been listening to "Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack a lot lately. The album Mezzanine is not bad but I just really like that song. This particular song was feature in the first Matrix movie during the scene where Keanu Reeves as 'Neo' is asleep at his computer desk and listening to music. This is the song that is playing. It fits in with the themes of the movie but that's not why I like it.

It's chill, that's why.

Going back to my previous, its interesting because that aspect feels totally gone from my dreams. Now they just seem like random, dumb shit. I mean, its possible that they're all occurring in this same world but they're not so much apocalyptic and more so dumb.


I've been writing a bit in my "Skin and Bone" novel and I have a good feeling about it. Its setup kind of similar to the Watch books (Night, Day, Twilight Watch books) in that its three separate parts. The parts are basically novellas but fit together as a whole novel. That is how this story is.

I've got a good chunk of the 2nd part, I'm nearly finished with the 1st, and I've got loads of ideas for the 3rd.

I've also been reading quite a bit. I'm kind of forcing myself to because I enjoy it but also because I have a lot of unread books on my shelves that I want to get to (mostly short story collections). I just finished re-reading The Road (which I admit it also for my fiction writing class but I love this book to death) and I'm in the process of reading the non-fiction book My Custom Van by Michael Ian Black. If you like any of the stuff he's done: Stella, The State, The I Love the...Series on VH1, or just generally find him funny, you will enjoy this book. It is essentially a collection of essays on all kinds of random topics. It's great.

That's about it for now. I figured I hadn't posted in awhile so here ya go. Enjoy.

Dream World

First, I am becoming increasingly intrigued with the life-after-apocalypse stories. I just bought Fallout 3 which is such a plot. I'm finding it hard to put my thoughts into words but basically...there is just something about an apocalypse that is so profound, so incredible, and so enticing...not just as an author but as a human being. I'm not talking about annihilation or genocide, mind you...just..."a new beginning." I play these games, read these books, but most importantly...have these dreams where an apocalypse is occurring.

So dreams...I always thought that it was just a recurring theme in my dreams, a sort of end of the world scenario I mean. But now it's dawned on me...all my dreams are in the same "world" or "universe." For most people, I think, each dream is a glimpse into some other world...This world may or may not be the complete imagination of each person but for me...I'm very sure its the same place, just different locations. Often times I had dreams in laboratories, schools, office buildings, or rural/secluded locations but there's always the same theme...the world is always on the brink or just past it of destruction.

This may be inconsequential to you, my reader, but to me...it is utterly profound. I just woke up this morning and had this realization. Its astounding. I'm curious if the characters that show up in my dreams recur. And I think they do, at least metaphysically they are the same because physically they often look different. Oftentimes there is a young boy, sometimes many children, in my charge. Also, there are usually fellow survivors. Sometimes a love interest. I'm rambling. Anyways, good night.

Reviews

So, I have a big problem with Rottentomatoes.com and Metacritic.com and basically any site or newspaper that critiques movies. My problem is that people who review movies tend to be cynical, tend to overlook the good, and tend to sometimes dramatize the bad in movies. I always try to preach that people think for themselves and when it comes to movies, this is especially true.

Basically, don't let others' opinions movie you one way or another. If you go watch a movie with your mind already set, your doomed to succumb to that self-fulfilling prophecy.

Granted, some movies are just so good it doesn't matter and, on the other hand, some are just so bad.

Anyways, that's enough soapboxing.

Here are two movies I've seen recently and MY opinions of them.

Valkyrie:
This movie is about the most famous failed attempt to assassinate Hitler by his own people. I'm not sure how "true" these events are but I did see a documentary on the History channel awhile back and from what I can remember, this movie sticks pretty well with history. My only complaint about it is lack of character development. Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise's character) is probably developed the most because he is the main character but there are many men shown that are developed enough. I wanted to more about these men, these German Nazis, who took it upon themselves to kill Hitler, free Germany, and end the war. Guess I'll have to watch the documentary again.
8/10

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:
This movie is truly epic, both in length of runtime and length of character. It is about 3 hours long and follows the life of Benjamin Button, a man (played by Brad Pitt) who's body starts off old and gets younger as he gets older. His mind, however, fits his age. There are so many neat things about this movie: the scenery, the characters, the plot in general. I'm not going to go on and on about it but I definitely recommend it. It is truly an intriguing movie that will have you thinking about it when you leave the theaters. If you like movies like Big Fish, Forrest Gump, etc. then I believe you will like this.
9/10

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party.

Know the lyrics to that song?

I decided this break I want to do more than sit on my ass and watch time go by. I want to write, damn it. I have been writing but I want to work toward submitting stuff finally.

Fo' sho'.

Old emotions are coming back to me.

"Persephone" by Third Eye Blind.

I'm doing it. Slowly but surely I am capturing everything, and I do mean everything, in House on Hickory Hill. All of those emotions I felt at camp and am feeling now. All of those relationships that were or should have been. All of my hopes and fears. They are rearing their heads in my novel. This story began as a seed of experience and is growing into something so much more.

Some thoughts on the Punisher.

I own the Director's Cut of the Thomas Jane film, I probably won't see Punisher: War Zone until it is out on DVD, and the 80's film is on my wish list.

Over at www.aintitcool.com, they already have a review. Read it if you wish.

A lot of people (including comic book writers) treat the Punisher as some one-dimensional psychotic murderer, which just pisses me off. I only like seeing his violent killings to a degree. Without depth, the Punisher becomes a bloody, campy, lame piece of shit.

To truly create a well-down Punisher franchise, you need to start with the origin. This formulic approach to storytelling is tried and true. The first film always develop's the origins in some ways to the character. A good Punisher franchise would start off with a film about a nice guy named Frank Castle who goes to Vietnam. The things he sees there, the choices he makes, turns him into something wicked and dark. He says 'yes' to the Grim reaper and essentially because a self-proclaimed Angel of Judgement, punishing the guilty much like Ghost Rider does.

After all the Vietnam shit happens (which should be about 2/3) of the movie, Frank comes back and tries to settle in a civilian life with his family. When they get killed, caught in the crossfire between gangs, that is when Frank loses it. He has been haunted by Vietnam all this time, he gave in and said 'yes' to some force that allowed him to live. In return, it took his family. Now he becomes the Punisher. First killing all of the members of those gangs, and realizing his true purpose: Killers, rapists, psychos, sadists will come to know him well. He is the Punisher.

In film number two, he is the Punisher in his prime. Here you can introduce villians like the Russian, bring in Jigsaw (who could be introduced in film one as a perfect-faced gang leader), etc. In this film, the Punisher (because he is no longer Frank CAstle) becomes psychotic. He kills relentlessly but then in one scene, he begins to doubt and question himself (maybe he kills one of the bad guys in front of the guy's kids). He's realizing that all of his war experience...it just creates this blind, bloodthirsty hatred. He kills without thinking, without considering the consequences and others' choices. He realizes that he isn't punishing but revenging. Perhaps at the end he decides to hang up the skull-shirt and maybe try on the badge. Or maybe he tries to kill himself. Statistically, this would be the best film.

In film number three, should there be one (which is dangerous...because the third film of the trilogy tends to be the worst as far as comic book movies go) Frank is a cop again. He tries his best to be a good cop but his tactics are questionable at best and so he ends up getting suspended over and over again. He realizes that the judicial system is flawed, so at night he becomes the Punisher again, one with a brain. He doesn't necessarily kill at first, more like setup criminals or something. But then some big bad guy forces him to become violent and dirty again. He must find a balance between good justice and killing. Perhaps at this end, he attempts to put a bullet in his own head. Depth can be added by creating a love interest who is a sort of femme fatale, in the same vein as the punisher. There's a good story arc in the Punisher Max series where he meets a woman who has been betrayed by these other women (they are the wives of mob bosses). This particular woman is sisters with one of the mob wives. Frank can see himself reflected in her thoughts and actions and it scares him. It causes him to look at himself objectively. Perhaps Frank is killed, so is the big bad guy in the climatic battle, but the woman lives and by giving his life, the woman gets a second chance at hers.

Just some thoughts.