We're lacking something, something good...

So it seems to me that every person who is really big into music has a band or artist that represents him. Mine, after long deliberation and years of listening to music, has become Third Eye Blind. As much as I feel other music represents me, Third Eye Blind will always hold the strongest place in my heart.

So here's a little taste of their greatness:

"A spaceman fucked an ape
Then cut out on the date
And now its much too late
The spaceship has escaped.

We're lacking something
Something good
Is this all for nothing
Show me the goods
Something good"
-"Darwin" by 3EB

Also, Audiosurf is the best ten bucks you'll ever spend on a game. Guaranteed.

EDIT:

I have update my word counts, finally. This includes all the bits and pieces I've written of both works. And yes, Skin and Bone is the title of my zombie-esque novel. Maybe in a few years I'll be published and be looking back at this post and have some sort of epiphany or whatever. Maybe nostalgia. Whatever.

Summertime and the wind is blowin' outside...

First of all, some interesting news. When people ask me how the Big Brother thing is going, I always say "not bad" or "OK" or "good," because truthfully, this is what they want to hear. Or rather, it is what I want them to hear. I didn't want to go into detail because it was something I was really struggling with. The truth is, it wasn't going well at all. The kid was fine, its just we never connected, I never felt like we clicked. We got along, just never connected.
The good news is that I am breaking off the relationship and starting anew at some point in time. I'm going to be very cautious this time. Before, I should have said 'no.' This time I will be wary in saying 'yes.'

In other news...

This is going to be a confession post, I feel, because the other thing I wanted to talk about was camp. It's been almost two years since I first set out for Waycross, a young, naive, soon-to-be college freshmen. I've grown up so much since then. I notice it all the time. But, and I say this without any sort of exaggeration or dishonesty, that summer of 2006 changed my life. It caused me to realize a lot of things. The most potent of which being that I miss everyone and everything from that summer. Sure there were downs (I missed vacation with my family, first time in fourteen years, I didn't make as much money as I could, etc) but there were so many ups to outweigh them.
The truth is, guys, not a day goes by that I don't think about the place. I'm heartsick for it. I am in love with it. But I can't go back. Partially for monetary reasons but also because going back would not be the same. The first time is the best, I think.
But I've discovered something else. I'm sure by now you're wondering, "You haven't talked about writing yet. Does this relate, somehow?" And it does. The only way I'm going to get this off my chest and out of my mind, the only way to cure my aching heart, is to write about it. Which means my camp novel is going to go through some changes. Nothing horribly drastic. I can keep about 90% of what I've written and probably only need to delete about 2%, which leaves the other 8% to revisions. The biggest change is that my main character, Andy, is not going to be an eighteen-year-old going to camp for the first time. He is going to be a 20-year-old returning to camp after two years. He hopes for the best and discovers the worst. He'll find love, loss, hope, and more. And he'll find something else. But I won't say it here.
So that is where I am in my life. I'm trying to overcome my hatred for things. Yet another confession. I hate, a lot. It's not like I mean to, it's just things bug me. So I hate. I can love, too, don't get me wrong. I'm a pretty caring guy. It's just a lot of things piss me off. I won't ever blog about them, I got that out of the way in my younger days (this is my fourth blog, by the way, the other three are gone because they were way too whiny--and political).
There. That's all for now. Take a breath because this isn't over yet. I'm just beginning. The change to my blog isn't just to lighten things up, it's to show that the future is bright. I have so much ahead of me. It's time to jump in.

Hang on to me and I'll hang onto you...til the end or until the day is through

The very last song on Carbon Leaf's album Indiana Summer is the best. It's over 7 minutes long but it's the best.

So I have been writing. A little bit here and there but more so than I've done in the past few months, which is great. Oddly enough, this is crunch time. I have all these projects and essays and shit do. I have all these video games and books and television and other stimuli but despite it all I've managed to write. Go figure.

I'm slowly connecting the dots on Skin and Bone, well the first part anyways. Once I finish that first part, I'll put it together with the second part in a word document (for word count purposes mostly and for formatting) and then update the word count here. I'm rather excited for whenever that happens. I probably only have about 40 more pages to write (about 10,000 words). That sounds like a lot but if you've ever gotten on a role, you know 40 pages is nothing, except countless hours that you don't even notice passing by.

Then I need to make some changes to part 2 but generally continue writing it. Thankfully part 2 isn't a bunch of pieces like part 1 was. Not so much in the beginning but later on I wrote scraps here and there and now I'm busy connecting them. Part 2 just needs to be altered a bit (if you've read it, what I'm doing is adding the kid's father into the mix. Just...don't get too attached to him). Then I need to continue it. It's at about 75 pages but I know exactly where it's going and it's going to kick ass.

Part 3 is the biggest part. I have actually written a few pieces here and there and I will certainly incorporate them into it. They're like teasers to myself, which is great.

My hope is to at least have part 1 and 2 finished by the beginning of May and hopefully have the first draft of this god damn thing done by next semester (mid-August for those keeping score at home).

I try not to have definite goals at the moment because it wold stress me out too much and make me feel bad if I didn't meet them. So right now I just have hopes which, as a theme in my story, is best.

Take care and rock on.

Third Eye Blind -- Live!

That's right. Last night, February 9th, 2008, I went to a Third Eye Blind concert. It was actually crazy chance that I ended up there.

See on Wednesday I was driving around with one of my buddies, who loves 3EB also, and we got to talking about concerts and stuff. I told him how 3EB came to Indy over the summer and how I almost went but didn't really get around to informing people or anything. he's like, "Oh man, you should have called me." And I definitely should have. But anyways, the next day, just out of curiosity, I check 3EB's tour schedule. Lo and behold, they are in friggin' Crawfordsville, IN on Saturday at Wabash College. So by now I'm sure you can put two and two together.

I went there with my buddy and his girlfriend and we, essentially, had a great time. The concert was phenomenal. Picture about 1,500 college kids in a gym that is sized fit for a high school rather than a college, and you probably imagine lots of shit. Lots and lots of shit. There was shit, indeed. Plenty of douchebags and bitches that came because it was a free (for Wabash students) or cheap concert. I'm pretty sure there were several people from a frat party or two that came. However, there were some true fans there besides my friends and myself.

3EB rocked so hard, it was phenomenal. I'm just in awe, I can't even put into words (shame on me, being a writer and all...haha) how great the experience was. The good news is, they're working on putting out a 4th album AND a live album. In fact they were recording for their live album last night so when it comes out, listen closely and you'll hear me (admist the crowd of a thousand people, haha). The new song was great...I sort of forget how it goes or what it's called but it was great. Man, it was just so great. I bought a t-shirt. Awesome.

I don't want to talk about writing right now, though. Fuck school.

28
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The Mist

So I saw the Mist today. Yes, I went to see it by myself but you know what? That's okay.

I almost cried. So very close. In fact there may have been a tear or two.

Go see this movie. Now. Like right now.



I haven't updated in awhile. I've been through a lot this semester...realized a whole great deal of things, and yet not much has happened. I know that I want to go back to work at Conseco this summer but that I'm going to make a better effort for social things, for instance.

Those word counts aren't accurate. I'm completely revamping Skin and Bone. There are so many changes that whoever has read any pieces of it will hardly recognize the final product (2009, maybe).

For some reason, The Mist (which is phenomenal by the way) has inspired me to make my camp novel, The House on Hickory Hill, be the best damned book it can be. Riddled with emotion, struggle, and the supreme battle of good vs. evil. I've already written a few incredible scenes that I need to insert. Powerful stuff.

I just need to find time to write again. I got so much to do these next three weeks. In fact, I have to start studying for a test now. See you soon, readers.

One on one

I should be writing other things right now but I feel the absolute need to do some philosophical reflection right now. So here it goes...

One on one.

One of the most profound, powerful things I have found in this life is having a one on one conversation with someone. A deep, emotional exchange between you and some other soul, someone you either truly care about and/or are truly interested in (in any way). To sit with another person and to talk, in depth, about any subject is so incredibly powerful.

It is as if we are strongest, most honest, and most intelligent when it is just us and another person we trust and yet at the same time we are vulnerable, emotional (to any degree), and weak. It is at this time that we are honest with our companion--and ourselves. So many truths become self-evident during these conversations.

It is a harmony of souls. One person to another.

I don't know if this is obvious or a given to anyone else...but through my experience, these are....

Well, to be honest. I've not only lost my train of thought but also my desire to continue this. I don't wish to delete it so I'll leave my ramblings here. I hate for this blog to become like my livejournal and other things, which I used mostly as an outlet for frustration. Maybe that's the best way to do it, I don't know.

Personally, though, I don't care to read other's anger, nor reflect on my own. But writing it seems to let it out. And not just anger, either but a whole array of emotions, most of them in fact.

So there it is.

In writing news, I'm back onto House on Hickory Hill. Skin and Bone is on pause for now.

Enjoy life, everyone.